Related to the makeup upbringing post, how would *you* want to bring up a daughter/etc?

I actually don't think it's realistic/possible to instruct a daughter to wear "not too much, but just enough" makeup, the way that people commonly assume. My own mother didn't educate me too much re: makeup but she did with clothing, and "happy mediums"/appropriate levels of dress are VERY hard to instruct/guide. People need to figure them out for themselves, and teenagers especially do need to experiment to understand where the limits are.

I anticipate my advice and allowances re: makeup will be very technique-driven. I can't possibly know ahead of time what's appropriate for THAT particular girl at THAT age in THAT school environment with THOSE friends, so I have to believe that some of her makeup education will have both a negative/positive effect and I can't predict how that will shake out exactly.

An example:

  • My daughter gets teased by a boy for having a big pimple

  • I teach her how to use concealer

  • Positive side: She's happy and relieved the next day; able to use base makeup effectively forever

  • Negative side: She's forever ashamed/freaked out to go out without wearing concealer

I can't really prevent that train of thought. Teenagers/preteens gonna preteen. If I teach my daughter how to cover up her acne, her developing brain WILL NOT grasp what my brain can grasp. I.e. "You can cover up your blemishes, and it can be important to you, while ALSO not being THAT important in the scheme of things, and the moment this starts making you feel ashamed about who you are naturally is the moment when it becomes negative." I wasn't able to grasp those things even as a smart 16 year old. Because it has to do with emotional development, sense of self (which is all warped during puberty), etc.

I can't worry too much about how it affects my future daughter(s) because I know EVERYTHING I do will affect SOMETHING in SOME WAY.

I love makeup. I will enjoy it as a hobby for many years to come. I'm sure my daughter will want to be involved in the hobby in some way but I'm going to try my best to relax and not micromanage the way she "learns" about makeup and about herself. I think the most well-adjusted people I know were allowed to experiment as teenagers in a safe way. Even micromanaging in a POSITIVE way can push kids into weird things. I'm going to make the information accessible and fun for her (the information I possess) but I am not going to give her CC on her makeup at the breakfast table or tell her her lipstick is a shade too intense for school.

/r/muacjdiscussion Thread