I’m not perfect and have been struggling with anxiety and impulsivity my whole life, I don’t think things through .. I made a horrible decision and it was the single worst mistake I’ve ever made! Through this whole process Iv come to understand that there is truly nothing more important, to me, than my family as a whole! Iv started counseling and medication to curb the anxiety.. if I really wanted it to end Iv had 2 chances now to let it go and that’s the farthest thing from my heart. I feel terrible and I’m sure in no comparison to how I made her feel which crushes me even more. I want to be the person she fell in love with and regain that trust that I violated. There is no excuse for what I did and to continue it was out of fear of losing it in the first place! I realized this other persons intentions early on and grew more afraid, as I worked on fixing things, that she would try to ruin things if she wasn’t happy as well? My family was always what I wanted and I was trying to do what I thought was going to let me keep them and build that relationship back up until it was sturdy enough to work through the whole truth of what happened. Iv felt guilty and shameful hiding things and from the beginning. I realized I made the worst mistake of my life and didn’t want to lose my chance to make it right the first time it came to light.