Relationship Between Personal Trauma and Perceptions of Mass Tragedy

I can relate to this a bit. I was living in NYC during 9/11, and I felt really scared on that day and then for days and months after, being on the train and imagining what if someone set off a chemical attack or something, seeing planes fly over and feeling a hit of fear. I remember talking to my abusive mother that day. My sister had finally gotten through the jammed phone lines and was crying. I assured her I was ok. My mother, when I talked to her later, literally laughed, like scoffed, at the idea that my college-aged sister would be frightened for me. Jesus Christ. And so I couldn't at all let her know how I was feeling living there...everything had to not only be ok with me, it had to be a flying, joyful success.

I found so much comfort lying on the floor of my apartment, crying along with Rosie O'Donnell crying on her show, and seeing other people cry on tv because so much pent up emotion and fear was allowed to come out then. I remember then my mother came up for a visit about a year later to see a fucking play. It would have been unfathomable for her to come after to be a comfort. She was a fair weather person through and through.

/r/CPTSD Thread