The relationship outside of my marriage came to an end and I'm hurting.

Hey, just wanted to add:

Reading your story and similar ones on here was a big help in getting me to calm down.

We dated converts. People that didn't even consider polyamory before us, and weren't really polyamorous themselves despite their best efforts to adapt.

In the end, losing them wasn't our fault. I spent the first couple of days wondering if I should have done something differently. I wondered why I didn't end it months ago when the NRE wore off. Could have saved myself the heartbreak. Or maybe I should have pulled back so they'd have to put more work into the relationship (it really felt like I was putting in most of the work at the end). All these "coulda, woulda, shoulda" thoughts going through my head. It's all pointless because there's nothing we could have done to prevent it.

There is nothing we could have done because they just weren't made for polyamory. The stories on here helped me to see that. At the end of the day, we're married and they couldn't handle it anymore. And that makes me feel a lot better. None of this was our fault.

/r/polyamory Thread