Thanks, it’s helpful to hear directly from the other perspective. I think that’s exactly right: I know he’s annoyed, but I believe he’s pretty resigned to the fact that other people simply annoy him, so he doesn’t really see it as a problem. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the fact that it feels like a problem for me that I annoy him.

It’s great that you’re able to actively address it in some way. Good for you. I know to some extent it’s just different personalities and styles, but if I ended up leaving him over this, I know he’d feel absolutely devastated… but he’s resistant to doing basically anything to address the issues.