I’ve been fully out of the church for 5 years, so if all of my advice may not apply.
Leaving the church can be really isolating, and was for me. It took me a few years to feel like I really fit in anywhere. Try finding local exmormon or exchristian groups to go to, because even if they’re a bit further down the path than you, or have different beliefs now, they will have the best idea what you’re going through. Having Talia go through her faith transition around the same time I went through mine was a huge way I stayed so sane through all of it. Online exmo communities like this also helped a bit with the isolation.
As far as dating goes-I dated a LOT of nevermos before I met my current partner, and I was very similar to you. No drugs, no alcohol, no sex, no parties, all of that. And yes, a LOT of other people my age were turned off by that. It was a big balance of inspecting my own judgements (I know the church says no alcohol, but why do I not want alcohol in my life?), and dating SO MANY PEOPLE.
When I met my current partner, I was super unsure because they did drink, they had friends who did drugs, and they’d had sex with previous partners. It was scary, and my church sensors were pinging like crazy. But I liked them as a person, so I told myself to take enough time to form a church free opinion.
After only a few weeks, it was pretty clear that even though I was still pushing through biases, they are (and Talia can confirm) the MOST kind, selfless, sweet, incredible person I’d ever met.
It was hard. My partner made me push up against so many hard things I’d learned in the church that I didn’t want to face. I loved them so much, and in order to keep them, I was forced to ask myself why I cared so much about masturbation, or why I was so set on there only being two genders. It was pretty painful for both of us.
It’s been 2ish years now, and my partner has taught me that the standards that the church gives us to be happy in relationships DON’T say anything about how happy a relationship will be. It doesn’t matter if they’re tatted from head to toe and need a shot to dance, or if they’re a theater nerd with a cat problem (hi honey), a happy, healthy relationship is entirely about communicating, loving yourself, and loving your partner.
And you can’t love them while judging them.
So in that long winded craziness, I guess my best advice is- look long and hard at the prejudices the church gave you, and ask yourself how important they are. I realized I’m a HARD no on drugs and partying, forever, but I like a drink every now and then, I’m a coffee fiend, and I’m grey-sexual, but sex with my partner is really special. And when you find a person who you like, ignore the checkboxes, focus on loving them and loving you, and see where it goes. Hopefully this is helpful AT ALL lol