Hmmm my previous relationship, I went into it with pretty good self-worth. But it actually got damaged and lowered while in that relationship. However, after leaving the relationship, my self-worth got a lot better. I started to focus on myself again: buy things that make me happy, do activities that make me proud of myself, spend time with good friends. And I learned that I shouldn't give up things/activities/friends that make me happy even if someone else (such as a boyfriend) asks me to. It's really important to hold onto the things that make you smile and feel good. And it's very important to not cancel on something you've planned prior for yourself (activity with friend, a day to yourself) for someone else at a later time. Keep your plans/activities that make you happy. Don't cancel on yourself, don't cancel on your friends, especially not for someone else. Time for yourself is important. Commit to yourself. And you can always schedule a future time in the forseeable future for someone else, on a time that you aren't already booked.
Hmm my current relationship is new but it is going pretty well. I wouldn't have learned to appreciate someone like him unless I went through all the past relationships that I did go through. I think it's important to find someone who makes you feel good for already being you instead of someone who makes you feel bad for being yourself even if it's a gradual thing. It's also important to prioritize yourself and make yourself feel good. Sometimes, I do struggle with self-care and putting myself first, but it's something I'm always keeping in mind now so it helps a lot. I think it's also important to date someone who is giving and kind. I remember in my previous relationships, I was super giving and kind--but it wasn't returned, not really. So eventually, I realized, I want to date someone who is generous and kind too! Someone I can treat well and make feel good... but I want that person to ALSO treat me well and make me feel good back! Reciprocation! I felt selfish for desiring someone who was as generous and givng as I was... but then I realized it's okay to want what I want. And I feel as if I have found that person but I'll see how it goes 5 years later. And I also know that if the person I'm dating isn't for me, then it's okay, because I will eventually find someone else who could be.
Things that helped with my self-esteem was knowing that I am worthy regardless of what I have, what I've done, or anything. Just the belief that I am good enough as I already am. And to prove to myself that I care about myself by doing things that make me feel good. I did a 30 day thing where I bought myself little gifts for myself which were like $1 but it made me happy. I had a lot of difficulty spending my own money on myself--but I had no problem splurging my money on others which was strange. But I have learned to spend money on myself so it's good. Hmm... I tend to treat my friends, family, and whoever I'm dating really, really well. And then I didn't treat myself as well in the past. So I've learned to treat myself just as well or even better than how I treat others! Because even you, yourself, deserve your own time, efforts, and love. Treat yourself as good or BETTER than how you treat other people!
I also exercise everyday and write in a gratitude journal every morning. I also put time into just reading whatever I feel like, or just eating or doing whatever I fancy at the time. I also connected with my close friends and shared with them about life and it was great! Sometimes, I am a very private person so it was really good to talk to my friends that I have known since I was little regarding all the things that was on my mind and what was going on. It's really good to have friends. And I also had a somewhat rocky relationship with my mom, but I learned to mend it, be more patient as well as forgiving, and it's good now. I think family is really important even if sometimes I feel that they don't understand me and never will lol.
I also realized that I am in love with the idea of love. And I have learned to accept that about myself. I guess one of the most important things is I learned to value my own time and be willing to spend time on myself and to prioritize myself. I also learned to be more patient with myself and to stop rushing myself.
For example, in the past, I would meet up with friends or my ex-boyfriend even though I was tired, busy and very stressed. Now I don't meet up unless I'm actually free/available.
I also used to do things out of obligation and I try not to do that anymore. One of the things that really helped me over the years was saying "No." A friend who states he used to be a people-pleaser taught me that if someone asks you to do something that you don't want to do or aren't sure you want to do... say something like, "I will check my schedule and get back to you." But always get back to them, even if it's just to say no. Others tend to take it better when you actually give some thought to a request of theirs even if you give a rejection in the end. However, I don't really follow that advice, I just say "no" even though I still hesitate sometimes. LOL. I do still eventually say "no" and that makes me feel better. Because when you say "no" to others regarding something you don't want to do, you are saying "yes" to yourself! I do still feel temporarily guilty/awful for saying no because I know the other person is disappointed, but I feel relieved for doing what's right for me!
Best of luck to you!