Just putting it out there for people visiting their Irish friends. St Patrick’s day is the worst weekend to visit. You’re basically damning us to provide you with an imaginary experience on a day the country shuts down. Oh and the weather will probably be crap so we will be stuck indoors.

You want to go to a real pub? It will be packed and overpriced.

You want to see a parade? Great but we haven’t a hope of getting to the Dublin one, so enjoy the local primary school filled one marching up and down Celbridge.

Oh and you’d like to visit Galway, Kerry and Donegal too? Take the keys and just leave me with my Tayto and the telly in peace.....