I was raised in a religious family, and the hypocrisy was palpable. Ironically, a Jesuit priest taught ethics in High School that straightened out the confusion. From then on, I was sure there was no "god" in the heavens. I started looking at different philosophies while studying earth sciences. I realized that the earth is a closed system with no carbon escapes, and the only new material entering the system is from meteorites. This solidified my belief that we are reincarnated as the mountains, the streams, dust, and animals and that "god" is the earth. We have each been on earth since it formed billions of years ago. Our current form is just one iteration; when our bodies die off, our carbon and minerals will decompose and reform as something else. Religion is a man-made construct, it had been moulded and shaped over the centuries to develop a control mechanism, but initially was a way to pass knowledge along, just like the storytelling traditions of indigenous people.

The point is that taking a stand or trying to find faith does not preclude the inevitable, stay open, study it all and find zen in the knowledge that against all odds, you have a conscious, moving, intelligent form, and it is short-lived in the grand scheme of things, so be what you want, do what you want, love your family, take care of people and make sure that when your body dies off, you have it placed somewhere special so your carbon can be passed on to something free.

I would like to be fed to Orcas or left on a mountaintop, not buried 6 feet under in a closed coffin, which terrifies me.