Religious people that saved yourselves for marriage - what is your sex life like now?

Are you sexually compatible?

Yes. The prevalence of this question about my decision also made me do a lot of research about sexual compatibility, which is an overly broad term used to conflate a variety of not really similar things:

  1. "chemistry" - Chemistry is also an overly broad term used for too many things.. What I mean when using it is specifically the indefinable aaaaaah that comes from smelling, touching, seeing, etc, the right person
  2. Libido match/mismatch - it should be noted that this is something which usually changes over the course of a long relationship in any case
  3. Physical issues - vaginismus (solvable), mismatched body parts (solvable)
  4. Mentality towards sex - a broad category. If one partner is highly traditional and prudish and the other very broad minded is an example
  5. Kink mismatch
  6. Serious problems that manifest sexually. This is broad, because with includes both the gay man who didn't disclose his gayness in advance and the partner who refuses to accommodate the other partner in the bedroom at all. These are issues in the relationship, communication issues primarily, their battleground just happens to be the bedroom.

Why did you save yourself for marriage?

Why: religion. I think a religious support framework is rather essential for this kind of endeavour.

But why: it serves as a very effective filter of people along the same life path as me. It made dating much more efficient and goal oriented.

But still why: dating is much less emotional when sex isn't a factor. Honestly, I feel like I "fell in love" with my husband only once we had sex, and that was after a year of close bonding.

Why not: it's really stressful making such an important decision while feeling like you're taking a risk in something that I, at least, knew was really important to me. I mitigated the risk in every way I could but honestly it was terrifying.

It paid off though.

What was your first time like?

It was okay. We took it slow, and it was warm and sweet and affectionate. But sex definitely got waaaay better with practice.

/r/AskReddit Thread