Ah well, in that case it sounds like you should keep the poem exactly as it is!

The 2 "criticisms" I added in my comment above were more of a nit-picking kind of thing, just for the sake of purposely trying to find something wrong!

I think you're right and if you try changing it around too much it might lose a certainly spontaneous quality to it.

Also the fact that you wrote this when only 14 or 15 years old is pretty awesome! I certainly could not have written that well at that age--not even close!

If writing is something you like to do, then you should consider writing everyday.

You can just open a notepad file on your desktop computer, and write... not matter what it is.

If you haven't written a lot lately, then when you first start writing each day, it will suck badly--so don't show it to anyone! Nobody has to see what you write each day!

But ya, just getting into the habit of writing each day, means you'll get better and better at it, and every so often you'll write something brilliant! Then you can take all the brilliant stuff you wrote, and put that into another notepad file, and keep the brilliant stuff in reserve, and use those great lines if you ever need them for something else like a poem, story, or novel.

Or maybe the brilliant file will have a line in it, that turns into an entire poem, or even novel!

I've begun working on a novel, that began with just 3 sentences during my daily writing exercises... and those 3 sentences inspired me so much, that they're now hopefully going to turn into a novel eventually!