I want to love my niece but my brother and his wife seem so unhappy and we already just don't see eye to eye on so much, I doubt I'll ever have a chance to really get to know her properly because they don't make an effort with me and I'm tired of trying. I mean, of course I still have love for her. But there's no real chance to bond.

And frankly, my brother's wife has soured on me ever since I've shown resistance to wanting to have a cookie cutter life just like hers, and she just treats her daughter like a doll, they talk about all the things they want for her/don't want for her as if she isn't her own person who should have a say. I don't enjoy spending time with her and she stresses me out. The whole thing reinforces not wanting to have children for me.

She also put herself through IVF to have kids and it made them both utterly miserable for a year. Ever since then on the rare occasion I do go over they have no problem fighting in front of me (usually just petty bickering and then ignoring each other) and seem oblivious to how uncomfortable that is to be around.

Wow I just word vomited all over your post, oops.