first of all, amazing work supporting your partner. you are awesome. I work closely with eating disorders and they are very difficult not only for the sufferer but also family and friends.

avoid telling her she looks healthy. I know that doesn’t sound right but she will take it as she needs to lose weight.

instead, affirm her in different ways such as “i’m so glad you’re here.” “I love spending time with you.” “you’re so kind.”

focus on inward traits as opposed to physical traits. it’s also okay to remind her that asking “am I fat” is an eating disorder behavior or thought and you don’t feel comfortable answering that. boundaries. be safe and take care.