Thanks, it's sad that there's so many of us dealing with a similar dynamic! I think what makes it worse for me is that he's very private about this stuff and has asked me not to talk to our friends/his family about it. I don't have a mom or any sisters to vent to or ask advice, but I'm glad I ended up here where so many women understand.

I know there's not a "normal" with IVF, but before they discovered the translocation they were saying each cycle with them for unexplained infertility statistically has about a 40% chance of leading to a birth. Once they found the translocation, well only one in six of our embryos is likely to be viable, so statistically I'd be looking at 6 times as many retrievals, transfers, etc as I would have without it. So I'm just comparing the unexplained fertility stats to our particular translocation stats I guess.

I think you're spot on with the counselling suggestion, and the more people here who suggest it the more I realise it's something I'll need to push for. I've mentioned it before and he's declined, but maybe if I bring it up again I'll have more luck.