Hey, Mango. Pollichops here.

First thing I noticed was a choppy framerate. It felt like the majority of the video was in 15 frames per second. Sometimes it picked up, but for the most part, it was very low. Plus, the quality looks almost pixelated. I don't know what you're recording with, but try lagarith lossless codec in your software if you can. Also, if you're faced with uploading a low quality video, pass. It's better to not upload anything until you fix the problem. It reflects on your entire channel, especially for first-time viewers.

Speaking of which... The title card killed your overall quality. To be brutally honest, (I am here to help after all! ^{_^} ) I thought I was about to watch some 6 year old's loud-music, poorly edited, montage video. If you don't feel confident creating an intro of your own, look around the interwebs. There's plenty of people who could help you out in that department.

Gameplay was fine. I wouldn't worry too much about the various microphone qualities, but I would take more time to fix the audio. The voices are all over the place. It sounds like you especially kept peaking the microphone. Game was loud in some parts too. Take the extra time to edit.

The video also ended extremely abruptly. No fade out, no endcard, no sign off, nothing. Think of your channel like a tv station, and treat it as such.

Overall, not bad, but a good bit of production tweaks here and there. Just keep at it, and dig around the internet for any tips, tricks, and how-to's. You'll keep improving if you keep at it.

Hope this helps!

---Pollichops