Thanks for accepting a discussion!

Do you have proof for discouragement of sharing private and intimate details of our lives with - specifically - mental health professionals/therapists? I am looking for fataawah from sites such a SeekersGuidance.org

You are not required to share anything at all therapy. You do not have to disclose sins. It could be as simple as saying “I want to improve my relationship with my brother” or “I want to have less negative self talk” or “I want to improve my self esteem”.

None of those three things contradicts with Islam.

I do agree that prior to therapy, it is vital to have a strong connection with a local Sheikh or female scholar if you are female and have access to one. I do agree that religious questions should be restricted to those with scholarship. I do agree that being strong enough to set boundaries with your therapist is important and to be firm in your beliefs.

I don’t believe that they have to be mutually exclusive or antagonistic.

I hope this doesn’t hurt your feelings, but your view is very common with desi and Arab men and in my community is why many men are seen as less emotionally intelligent, bad communicators, insensitive, and often are unaware of how their behavior affects others.

I say this as someone who agrees with you that western feminism is completely anti Islamic and cannot be mixed with Islam in any form whatsoever. Islam supports and uplifts women, and anyone who has a problem with the anti Islamic nature of western feminism needs to do a lot more research on the history of feminism and it’s roots. Mohammad Hijab has some short summaries to give an overview, but it’s a very complex and convoluted history.

I think it’s important to develop yourself emotionally through tafakkur - deep reflection - and I think a therapist can help support those goals IF you are clear about your goals and what you want to take away from therapy.

However, I do want to acknowledge that people who are in a bad spiritual state and don’t have a strong foundation can absolutely be harmed by bad therapists who can suggest a way of thinking that is unislamic. However I think this fear is overblown by people who have never been to therapy. As a medical student we get to be a third party to multiple people receiving therapy and it really opened my eyes to what mental health is actually like vs what desis and Arabs think it is like. I think most people would benefit, especially young men.

In summary, while I understand your reservations, I believe your stance is based on assumptions about therapy that are largely not true. I don’t believe there is an unislamic component to tafakkur - deep reflection - and I believe a therapist can help you navigate it without having to share such information with friends or family - although it’s fine to share with friends or family obviously. Therapists are experts in communication and in self reflection - definitely more so than the average person.

Most importantly, it’s very hard to see deficits in one own behavior without an outside party. This can be friends, family, a sheikh or female scholar, or a therapist. I don’t think a therapist is haram - have never heard this from any of the 30+ local scholars in my area - and I believe more young men could use it.

I hope this wasn’t too long! Please forgive me if I was rude or mean or inconsiderate. I wanted to challenge your ideas in a kind and compassionate and soft manner - in following the sunnah of the Prophet SAW in dealing with his companions (May Allah be Pleased with them). I hope you will have similar adhab (etiquettes) in responding to me!