Do I have the right to be upset over the fact that my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me?

Have you ever seen Pokemon anime? Ash left his hometown to go on a "Pokemon Journey" and while he has end goals the main purpose of the series is the journey, Ash wants to explore the world so he can battle and catch new Pokemon. Ash still wants to be a Pokemon Master one day but the reason he leaves his strongest Pokemon at Oak's lab every time he goes to a new region is so he can start all over again with new Pokemon and friends he meets along the way. Becoming a Pokemon Master doesn't depend on how many badges he wins or how he ranks in leagues, being a master depends on how good he is and how well he can adjust to new battle partners.

Have you ever played a Pokemon game? You leave your home town, do necessary level grinding but avoid random trainer battles so you can focus on the gym leaders and the Elite Four. The goal of a Pokemon game is to get your team of six Pokemon to reach their highest levels so you can plow through all the strongest trainers and when you've done it once you start all over again but you'll probably still use the same six Pokemon the next time through as well.

The Pokemon anime is journey oriented but the games are quest oriented. Ash Ketchum wants to enjoy every day of his journey and he doesn't care if he never beats the Pokemon League because he sees value in the effort he placed in his life on par with the glory of victory. But when you play as Red you just want the glory and you will use as many legendaries as possible to win. These are the female and male perspectives for sex respectively.

For men you reach orgasm then you go flaccid and sex is done so you just start all over again because you've reached your goal. For women multiple orgasms are possible so there is no definite end goal and when these two mentalities collide people can be left unsatisfied. Your boyfriend is spending all his time leveling up his Onix and not enough time learning how it interacts with your Cloyster because he just likes to spam Earthquake every turn and because its a powerful attack it can get results.

Pokemon analogies aside, my advice is to talk to him about how he views sex and encouraging more foreplay so he can learn to enjoy the entire experience of sex instead of just the end result. I still very much has an end goal when I have sex but its not my orgasm, its our enjoyment and your boyfriend needs to start thinking this way as well.

/r/AskMen Thread