I had a customer make a pretty good Freudian slip at work today. Don’t know if it is the best in all history, but it was pretty damned good.

I’m a claims adjuster. I handle burglary insurance claims. We do all our work on the phone, so we have to develop a nose to sniff out the liars.

I had one guy that I had just sent a check for $9000 on his claim. My nose had been itching on this claim, but I could not prove anything. Suddenly, we get a call from his ex-wife saying the entire claim is fraud. Basically, the burglary was completely staged with an accomplice. So I run down to the mail room and find the check so I can void it while we investigate further.

I should preface the punchline by saying the guy is not a native English speaker. This morning he leaves me a voicemail saying exactly this:

‟Hi, I just wanted to check on the status of my crime…. claim! My claim!”

Took me until after lunch to recover.