As someone who did not have a family who paid for their education and grew up with humble means… you need a SERIOUS reality check. Your life is not ruined. Your family funded your education. You are FORTUNATE. I assume there is a roof over your head? Food in the fridge? You need to change your perspective. If you do not like what you are doing, you are old enough to change it. You have a degree. Use it. Find out what employment options are available to you. You can also pursue a masters in another field. You did not F up so bad that your life is ruined.

I think you need to talk to someone bc your train of thinking is off and could be hurting you, especially if you are experiencing depression or obsessive thoughts. You wouldn’t be the first person and I encourage you to get help. You’re going to be okay mate. You have to stop these thoughts and be kind to yourself. Life is a journey. It can be scary sometime but it can also lead you to new passions, friendships, goals etc. Just take it one day at a time and keep moving forward.