Russian Allies Get Tongue-Lashing at Putin’s Ultimate Pity Party.

Late one night, through a twist of chance and whimsy... I found myself on a yacht unknown to me. It was there, while searching for candy, that I walked in on putin grooming them.

He looked up as I entered, sharply. Giving me that small frown-blink of someone not entirely sure where they are, and angry about it. But It WAS clear; I'd disturbed something special to him, something intimate.

Abruptly, and with a renewed determination, he transitioned back to licking... But more aggressively, even savage... Longer, slower. Intention filled laps; with special attention to the genitals and ani. Between licks, he managed a quick exultation of "I love being in your Axis", or something to that effect.

My feet were paralyzed, my mind overwhelmed, my hand in the candy bowl I also noticed when I entered.

This man's strong™ tongue is most prized, by other strong™ men, you see. And OH how they adored his special attention! At the end(approximately one bowl of candy later) it was readily apparent that mr putin was quite pleased with himself.

Without warning, a sudden mood change struck him. He crooked his finger and signaled it was time to shuffle away. "That candy was rightfully mine and will be paid for in blood and fire", he exclaimed over his shoulder as he walked away from us to the edge of the boat.

Luckily his nurse caught up to him, led him away from the edge, and to bed- with his special boys in tow. They sure we're tuckered out. Catching the scent of this breath as he stumbled by, It occurred to me that he should have brushed his teeth, or at least used mouthwash. His men didn't indicate that they noticed anything intolerable, obviously too strong™ to care.

With a sleepy stretch and goodnight pecks, they snuggled deeply into the nest of frayed silk, vodka, paper tigers and brutalized women they'd constructed earlier on, and no one said anything when putin shit in the bed at 4am. So polite.

Well into the next morning, after finishing my thorough search, I made my exit. It was before the morning lie-bations, and the next round of grooming.
His men desperately needed to clean the mostly, but not quite, dried shit off; which was only on them because of night time NATO, they declared in one voice.

Anyways, Mishka Kosolapy's suck.

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