I think your example is off. It's not the process most incels, including myself, go through. Before becoming jaded and bitter we do in fact try and put ourselves out there. If the girl in your example followed that process, she would soon learn that men do not put that much weight on her breast size. Some even actively prefer it. She would not have her believes confirmed and would probably let it go. However, the short man will have his believes confirmed. Especially if they're both late teens/early twenties.

I understand what OP is trying to say because I feel the same. Not about height but about autism. I am on the spectrum and have been part of multiple support groups. And what OP says applies here as well. 99% of women prefer neurotypical men, even those on the spectrum! In those support groups most men , I would say 9 out of 10, are permanently single to this day. To make matters worse the two guys who have had no issues dating are both 190cm+.

The women have had no problem dating and some are getting married and having kids. We're all around age 28 now and I have known these people for almost 15 years.

All this makes it really hard to not feel at least a certain bitterness towards women. It has been amplified for me after I fell into incel spaces about 6 months ago. What makes it worse is when people try to pretend that women have it just as bad when it comes to dating and body issues. Sure mentally they are just as bad but they do not disqualify women as they do men.

Unlike OP I have accepted my massive disadvantage when it comes to dating. I think acceptance is the way to go for us instead of rationalisation.