You're so right and this is something that's taken me two years to learn. You will never win against these types. They are always about ten steps ahead of you and they have a had a lifetime of practice at being this awful. How could you ever compete with that? You can't. I stupidly spent a good portion of these years trying to figure out ways to "make things better." If I could just... Get him to understand... Get him to chill out.... Get him to see... Get him to ______. Or maybe if I just changed this or that about myself. Maybe if I didn't _. Maybe if I did _____. But here's the thing. They don't want anything to get or be better, so it will never happen. Nothing is going to change. They picked you to live in servitude and they do that by warping your mind and making you feel terrible about yourself. That's the game and it's the only one they are willing to play. It will never ever NOT be this way between you two. You can't make any of it better.