Have you gotten help for your issue since you've gotten back or since you've found out about what to call it? It's not fair to your partner. For you to know and label a mental challenge and not address it head on until you are able to manage. I've been there, same type of childhood same diagnosis, and its freeing when you get therapy and are able to function without the past hindering you. Its hell before you realize what it is. When I see people just living with it or justifying reactions without putting in the work to solve it, it makes me sad for them and their partner. You don't have to live like that, or with the cptsd always around the corner waiting for triggers. I'm sorry you have to deal with it at all. I hope you were able to get help and I hope others are too!! Hugs