S5 E14. "My dad pulled a knife out on my mom"

SAUL: dont bring weed 2 disappering vacuum man

JESSE: fuck u

HUELL: *takes weed*

JESSE: *goes to disappering vacuum man*

JESSE: wheres my weed

JESSE: SAUL'S GUY TOOK IT

JESSE: SAUL'S GUY TOOK THE RICIN

JESSE: WALT POISONED BROCK

JESSE: burnin' down the house

HANK: jesse no pls lets burn him down together

MARIE: hank how about going to the dea

HANK: that's not a word, honey

WALT: come on jesse let's talk there must exist certain words in a certain specific order that would make you okay with me poisoning a child

HANK: yes good talk to him and wear a wire jesse

JESSE: no i got another idea

WALT: todd get jack let's kill jesse

TODD: k

JESSE: got ur nose money bitch come and get it

WALT: ?!

JESSE: your money, i am at its location, so how about you drive directly to its location where the money is buried, and also stay on the phone the entire time

WALT: okay that sounds agreeable

JESSE: right make sure you dont hang up or else ill burn more money, just drive directly to the location of the money (which i am at, of course) while constantly talking to me on the phone, keep the phone on at all costs

WALT: makes sense

JESSE: just because, i don't know, bryan cranston has a great voice and i want to hear it as much as possible during the final episodes, so really, don't hang up

WALT: no i didn't ask for a reason why i shouldn't hang up it seems pretty sensible

JESSE: right good just go right to where all the money is, with the phone on and talking to me, the whole time, also if you could give audio evidence that you're a murderer that'd be greaaaaaat

WALT: done and done, okay where are you

CAR: *drives in*

WALT: jack i am at these precise coordinates and so is jesse pinkman, so please come here and KILL EVERYONE IN SIGHT if you ever want me to cook for you you need to get here and start shooting people

JACK: word

WALT: now right now as fast as you can IT IS VERY IMPORTANT GET OVER HERE IMMEDIATELY JACK GET HERE AT ONCE THIS IS A BIG DEAL

HANK: wow just look at how big these minerals are :D

GOMEZ: pretty hot out here though, i could go for a schraderbrau

WALT: actually dont come

JACK: wait what why you said it was important

WALT: .........................................*hangs up*

JACK: i dont even get a "because i said so"?

KENNY: guess not

JACK: why the fuck did you get a dialogue line in this post, anyways all things considered, i think the "I AM ABOUT TO DIE" instructions were clearer and sounded more important than the "ehhhhhh nvm i guess" instructions so let's go

HANK: i won

MARIE: omg yay

HANK: it might be a while before i get home

MARIE: wait did you really just say that, dude for fuck's sake you might as well go to westeros and say "we'll talk when i get back", are you even hearing the dramatic implications of your dialogue or

HANK: all i'm hearing is the eventual sound of myself popping open a crisp cool schraderbrau in celebration, anyways g2g

JACK: the party dont start til i walk in

SHOTS: *fired*

WALT: !!! WHAT THE FUCK

JACK: okay well you kind of said you were going to die so no shit we showed up

WALT: right but i told you not to come

JACK: did you hear the relative levels of conviction in those two lines, one of those instructions seemed more urgent and emphatic, anyways there are a few too many dea agents here for my liking

HANK: do what you're gonna d-

bam

it's really late and i'm really tired so this might have gotten a bit off-track but the point is lots of people were responsible, hank for not going to the DEA, jesse for coming up with the plan to go there, jack & friends for actually shooting him (it's always interesting how people tend to blame the protagonists, like how people point out all the mistakes made by the victims of the red wedding in game of thrones rather than just being like "wow that was a dick move"), and then walt for literally leading hank there and calling in the people who killed hank

i feel like it's a stretch to say jesse is primarily responsible, even among protagonists (so ignoring the major answer of "how about it was fucking jack's fault that jack shot hank") because walt exists... but walt has a cooler hat so some people like to make favorable stretches about his character sometimes

/r/breakingbad Thread