has done wonders to combat the powerlessness I've felt

I understand what you mean and I offer you a modicum of respect for being honest with me and the world, if that's what you're truly doing right now.

It is up to you whether or not you find any value in dealing with other people from a position of good faith. If you are an honest person beneath the obtuseness of your responses then be honest with yourself. Anger and toxicity affect you in a negative way even though the first impulse gives you a dopamine hit and makes you feel good. That's why children act out before the adults around them show them how to understand their feelings and how to comprehend them.

My dad left us when I was like two, I don't even remember him, but it left me really mad at the world, like so mad I did what you are doing now. Attacking others because I myself felt bad at the time too.

The worst reality about our world is that we're programmed by the media we consume, from the music and TV shows we see to the advertising we are immersed in. A lot of it makes you feel like you're wrong to think and feel the things you do, but none of it, like NONE OF IT, ever tells you to take time to understand yourself.

This will probably fall on deaf ears but I thought I'd try.

You are more than your ability to hurt other people because it feels good.