5 days ago I started tapering off from 20 drinks a day(I thought it was 14-18, I was wrong). I've been battling this addiction for over 5 years and I'm done. In the past couple years my life has changed a lot. I am far into my degree at a well respected and challenging university with the end of my degree in sight. I live with my girlfriend with 3 children. Pretty soon I can be in a well paying job in a high demand field with work I love and do well at. I am very good shape, I lift weights 6 days a week eat a strict diet with lots of protein and carbs

I've been drinking heavily since I was late 21, I'm now 26. A year ago I managed to quit with the help of this reddit resource for 6 weeks. During this time my grades in college skyrocketed and my memory improved significantly. My blood pressure went from being borderline high to perfect. It even kicked off my passion for fitness and weightlifting to a more serious level.

It recently got to the point where I was drinking about 20 standard drinks a day. Last night I drank 4, and in 2 days I plan to be at 0 and remain there. Last night I took melatonin, Benadryl, even valerian root and ashwagandha to fall asleep. I had extremely vivid dreams. When I woke up I hallucinated the angel of death hovering over my bed.. it was very vivid. Likely it was the combination of sleep medicine and withdrawals, but part of me also thinks it may be my mind warning me of the consequences of continuing to drink.