Not trying to be pedantic!

You are though :P

When people talk about longer focal lengths causing compression, the assumption is the shots are framed so that the subject fills the same amount of the frame at the different focal lengths. Saying the compression is the same with a shorter focal length at the same distance-to-subject isn't very useful, because if you keep the same distance-to-subject with a significant difference in focal length you're composing two drastically different photos. If you want to compress facial features for a portrait, for instance, the advice to shoot at 85mm instead of 24mm is absolutely correct. Saying "actually the focal length isn't what adds compression, just stand at the same distance and shoot at 24mm!" doesn't add anything to the discussion, and if anything just confuses the matter.