Thank you for your kind words. Comments like yours and this group in general make me feel truly understood. With the understanding that I am not alone also comes anger. I am so angry that this sort of behavior and conditioning has been inflicted upon so many children.

I'm sorry that your nmom's only takeaway from your shower was her friend's insensitive comment about something you had absolutely no control over. I have always struggled with my weight and carrying twins I have become all belly. My mom has made several rude comments about my weight during my pregnancy. I feel like it is such an easy shot that nmoms often choose to take it especially when it comes to their daughters.

I totally agree with you about not having anymore room for her shit. As I became no contact with my dad this past year for having similar narcissistic tendencies, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I can see it being easier to do the same with my mom if she crosses the boundaries I set for her and my children.

I think you're also so right about the guilt. With this outlet, I think I will begin to heal. A part of me just wants to give in to the guilt, but I am hoping this time I can stick it out when I do decide the future of my relationship with my mom. I have made it a little over a half of year no contact with my dad, and I haven't given in to his guilt tripping yet! With the support of this group, I can hopefully find the strength to do what's right for my family and myself.