This is really helpful to hear, thank you

I’ve already forgiven her, but as I told her, I can’t forget it. The topic of trust was the first thing I brought up, I told her I can’t trust her for a while now and she understands, and said she’s willing to wait as long as it takes. Non sexual contact is fine for me, it’s just because the last time it started lacking was when she of course found it in someone else.

I have told her I want to take it slower and she seems very submissive at the moment which I’m not used to, she only asks me what I want to do or how I feel. I do think she regrets it though because she had a breakdown not long after it happened, not only that - but the action caused our friend group to resent her and push her out. I don’t think she did it on purpose to hurt me, I think she fucked up and she knows it (she told me she knows it, she was very harsh, calling herself a slut and a whore and a piece of shit)