Scariest thing I've ever experienced

I want to get over this and stop obsessing about how scary the whole experience has been. I know good people are out there, i know not everyone is out to get me. But this is affecting my every day life. I'm aware of some of my triggers, and I'm not sure how to calm myself down after an attack. My eyes get big. My heart races. I talk very fast and feel very heated and angry when it happens. I've never experienced mental trauma like this before.

I know exactly how you feel. I also basically was told repeatedly no one would believe my story in court. A lot of what happened to me over 9 years was extremely unbelievable. If you could see the hand the person keeps in my life, or tries to keep in my life, it would make it even less believable.

One thing I saw here that was similar to my situation was:

His mother works for the government so I am afraid of what she could do to me.

and

I was in contact with the ex wife. Talking to her was the only closure I got. She said he was really good at lying. I also believe he was on prostitution websites a lot and hook up sites. That and waitresses would always ask me in a really awkward way "is that your boyfriend?" That had never happened to me before? He was hitting on them right in front of me.

and

But now he is running and I'm thinking of getting a restraining order just in case anything ever happens to someone else. There will be a paper trail, red flag. I'm afraid he will come after me or my family members. He knows everything about me.

My ex-wife's family was made up political folks, cops and a few folks who worked in gov't agencies. She actually does contract work in IT for gov't agencies.

Her ex gave me the run down on her and I didn't believe it, until it happened to me.

The restraining order thing has been a sore spot for me because when I didn't get one (and had the evidence to do so) she turned the whole thing on me and that was the moment I realized I was dealing with a monster.

My advice because of these similarities is get the hell away and stay out of it.

I want to tell you to do all of the right things and to go through the DV process and get an order against him, etc.

There is something megalomaniac when people have connections that occurs that I cannot describe accurately enough. But....they just get away with things. Things you don't think about when you play the chess game in your head that would normally result in your own protection.

My ex monitors me on the web, she reads my emails and has some forwarded to her, she knows about things that happen at my job, she keeps track of my girlfriends and my ex girlfriends and she uses every tiny shred of information she can against me because...to be quite frank, I think she gets off to some degree on exercising the control.

I think it's all stopped now. I have gotten to the point where I ignore it because it was stopping me from moving on, healing and being human again. I was so paranoid these last six years that you can't imagine how much damage I did to myself.

I was drained of my energy and love and stripped of my dignity. And he is still out there hurting people. Day in. Day out. And I feel wrong for not screaming to the world about it.

I know these feelings. The truth is, I tried. I did everything I could think of to stop her from hurting others after me but she can't and won't be stopped. There's no way to do it that she won't get help from others and find a way around.

Save yourself. Heal yourself. Make all the safe guards and precautions so you can live again.

Don't get sucked into the drama vortex they create.

/r/domesticviolence Thread