yes I was headed for disaster and finally got sick to the point where it was like a "you might die" type thing, very serious lung infection, no one around, holed up in my house, had a couple nights where when I went to bed my lungs were so full it was like "am I going to stay breathing all night?". I have a friend who worked with a lady who died of the flu about 5 years ago and I was like, welp - this is totally how that kind of thing happens. Boyfriend was awol because he was drunk and didn't want to deal with it so I cut that off and managed to live through it all, a month went by pretty quickly (like, a month of no drinking) because I could barely eat or do anything, I started living off of amazon prime so I stopped ever going to a store which was my primary place to buy alcohol, reconciled with boyfriend because I was afraid he might die of alcoholism, lo and behold he was so surprised I quit, he managed to quit. We then started hiking, A LOT. Hiking every weekend pretty much April - Oct of last year. You can easily be gone and busy for like 9 hour stretches at a time. I am clumsy and totally afraid of heights so I'd just be off in the woods losing my shit on some ledge or whatever, it was good brain retraining. A year later I leveled up to a much higher paying (although way stressful) job and unwinding from the CA thing feels like getting out of debt to some eastern European mafia syndicate. I honestly think if I go back that'd be an end game type deal.