This comment was posted to reddit on May 25, 2019 at 11:08 am and was deleted within 1 day, 5 hour(s) and 17 minutes.
Screaming about your problems thread
I can't really summon an all caps mood. But
I simultaneously need to be alone and need lots of love and intimacy. It is literally impossible to have both of those things at once.
I basically don't connect with anyone and I don't know how to. Either it happens or it doesn't. And 99% of the time it doesn't. Like I just don't feel interested in people at all no matter how much I talk to them or get to know them. Unless of course they have no interest in me, then sometimes.
Everyone always wants something from me. I feel like me as a full person doesn't exist, but me as a means to an end does.
I'm ugly and disgusting and unlovable no one could ever be really attracted to me.
I'm out a chunk of money from a stupid idiot decision I made because I'm a stupid idiot, and I had a big surprise bill yesterday and I just feel so low about it all.
I feel like I am/was the adult in ny relationship with my parents. I feel like the adult or support in my friendships and relationships. I just want to feel seriously supported for once.
I feel trapped. Trapped in my life, trapped in my family, trapped in my career. I think about running away sometimes but I know that's just wishful thinking and my unhappiness would follow me anyway.