Second semester of college, I feel incredibly lonely. How do you build a social life from scratch?

In highschool I used to be introverted and spent most of my time in my room playing online games. I wanted to get out more and socialize but anytime I went to a party it felt awkward and had a bad time.

As I grew up I learned several things.

You don't just flip a switch and become social, hardworking, or whatever. The reality is that you become who you are over time.

Everyday you make a decision to be more social moves who you are as a person to a new place. If everyday you act a little bit more gregarious, in 1 year you would be a new person.

I have friends who look at me and say I wish I had the motivation to go to the gym everyday. And then give me some lame excuse about why they are disappointing themselves.

The truth is I never woke up and just started going to the gym everyday. In the beginning I had fantanties about being fit and made plans to go to the gym at night. I had all the motivation in the world for "tomorrow".

The reality is that motivation isn't as important as discipline.

One day I went for a run. Then I started going to the gym every once in a while. Eventually I bought some gear. Then I gave up for a little bit. A couple weeks later I went again. I had to force my past version through the self doubt and laziness. Ultimately, I saw gains and I started to enjoy running/lifting.

Now when people look at me they think I was always like this. They never saw me when I was struggling and trying to convince myself that I didn't want to do it or that I couldn't do it.

I think understanding that changing who you are is a process made everything in my life make much more sense.

TLDR: Little changes over time yield huge results.

/r/AskMen Thread