I think my main issue is probably some degree of psychological withdrawal from kratom, even if it doesn't really feel obvious, some degree of physical withdrawal, and at some point, I'm going to have to cut the cord on my taper and just do a week of Tylenol while sort of depressed, oh well. I have some taper blues I think. And I guess I'm panicked if I can really do it. Nobody can really say if it makes a difference but when you're being put to sleep you worry about not waking up.

And the qualified aspect of if things could get better for me -- after I really thought they could -- that's confusing. I feel confused what to feel or expect. It's all jumbled together I guess with those upset withdrawal feelings.