Ofc its personal because I care. And there's nothing wrong with that. You pointing that out seems like you're trying to shift your discomfort onto me and suggest because I might have some past I need to be ashamed of it. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Yuk that you're suggesting that. That doesn't speak to an emotionally mature or respectful person.
I clearly stated something to someone who is not interested in hearign harsh truths. Abusers don't change. Regardless if they are trans or not. I can tell your excuses for him are made because they are part of your excuses for your behavior. As you admit, you were enmeshed with him. Realize your child is going to absorb all of it, including the lies, emotional manipulation and stiffling of the truth.
Another thing that bothers me is that you went to couples therapy, in my experience couples therapy with abusers is NEVER a good thing. And in fact, only reinforces the control/enmeshment/dysfuction deeper.
Also lol thanks for the ad hom/boundary crossing with "you can calm down a bit" and the tone policing.
That's inappropriate and says more about you than me.
I have a gift of poking to the heart of matters that most people want to pretend aren't there. It does not make me a popular person with a fragile and emotionally immature majority of the human race. Yet you share this here, so what did you want? If it hurts you, I'm sorry, its truly not my intention, I desired to help you by your defensive response I think you know that you have a lot more to work on than you let on. I hope your kid is safe.