Seems like all my matches this week keep saying “friends first.” I don’t lead with this, I usually chat for awhile before asking. Guess its time to stop asking altogether. I think it just means they aren’t interested? I’m not looking for hookups, but I am looking for non-platonic.

I may be different but I say just "not sure yet" or kinda "lets be friends first" bc I'm very cautious on women on these apps. I'm very pessimistic and cautious bc I know how much of a trip people can be. I also hate the dating's more pressure...I try to weasel out until I'm comfortable. And I think you hit it off more as people who actually like each other if the romantic context isn't there right away. It doesn't mean I don't want to date. I'm actually very loyal and love love...but I'll never put "Looking for a relationship".

As for what you should assume from other men I don't know. Maybe most just want hookups but I'm willing to bet some men are similar to me. Many go for sex bc they don't think it's possible to have their emotional needs met or don't know how to facilitate a enriching relationship.

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