I'm also more of a high functioning addict than most. I have a car, pay my bills, haven't really lost any friendships due to this, nor have I have never stolen a dime to support my habit. I make enough money I pretty much never have to go without, haven't even called out of work once in the past four years at least. I receive zero public assistance. Though every dime I make after bills goes to heroin. Even being in heroin bliss nearly all day, I felt utterly defeated. My whole reason of being was to be it's slave and I fucking hated it. I had a wisdom tooth rot out of my fucking mouth and never gave it a second thought. Every morning the first thing I'd feel is the onset of withdrawal, sex or chasing females doesn't even cross my mind anymore. Only time it happens is if a female kinda just initiates the whole thing because I was oblivious to her signals. Though that hasn't happened in a while and probably won't ever again if I go back to using. Since I kinda just started to stop giving a fuck about personal hygiene and am starting to look like a fucking ghost. Though it's kinda fitting because if I don't stay clean that's essentially what I am. You ever just not eat for three days in a row and not even notice? Before I stopped I ended up having enough for a day and a half but wanted to quit the next day, so I just decided that day was the last day I would ever do heroin one way or another, didn't really care either way though I did feel bad for whoever ended up finding me and of course my mother but I ignored those thoughts because that is just so easy to do on heroin. I also want to repeat this, I'm what some would consider a high functioning addict when it comes to this shit. Meaning a majority of users lives are much worse than mine. I don't go around warning everyone like this, I've never done anything like this before. Just know that I know what the fuck I'm talking about and reading only your most recent posts was like watching a car accident in slow motion. I hope this reaches you, when I used in a similar way if someone saw my path because they'd seen it before I'd probably just be like "that dude has no idea what he's talking about, I could never let myself get like that" my advice/warning is over, I wish you a grand life. If you pick the gutter over the grandkids that likely isn't possible but best of luck either way.