Self-disclosure and the patient developing feelings - is it still idealization?

My therapist tells me loads, but it's still all transference. You're definitely feeling love, but you seriously do not know this person. They are performing when they are being a therapist to you, and you don't get to see them say what they really think outside of your time. I know it seems like this person really loves you and they probably do, but they also go to restaurants with their friends, watch TV shows they don't tell you about and have opinions that you aren't allowed to hear for a good reason.

Your love for your therapist is genuine love. Don't just dismiss it as a technicality of therapy. It's real. But it's real like the way you love your favourite teacher or your aunt or uncle. Real how you like your crush in school. They're not a complete person to you, but you can still love them a whole lot regardless. It's just that if they are vulnerable and a complete person then you won't be able to benefit from therapy anymore and it becomes much more complicated. Trust me it's way better that they are idealized, but that doesn't take away from the realness of the love you feel. I hope this helps.

/r/TalkTherapy Thread