I don't have any advice, other than to relate.
I haven't even told my mom yet and we've been engaged since September (getting married 9/2024). We barely speak anyway, maybe a phone call here an there every few months but it's rare. Most of the time it devolves into her health issues and blah blah blah, she doesnt even know what i do for a living. I've seen her once in the last six years. She moved away to state 1 to live with some dude, then moved again, and then again to I've with another dude (who she's apparently engaged to now?) I barely have a relationship with her, but obviously I want to invite her.
She and my dad, and my stepmother, do NOT have a good relationship AT ALL.