But it's not lowering the role in total.

It's lowering the role with respect to one aspect of daily life.

That's what seems to get lost or worse, conflated into the trope that traditional Judaism objectifies or denigrates women and that's not true.

The problem is that women don't have the obligation to be there every Friday night and every Saturday morning and every other morning and every other afternoon and quite frankly, I don't think many of us want to live in a world where both the men and the women are similarly obligated. It's just not practical.

But does that lower women in any way? Of course not. Unless you think raising children or keeping a home or bargaining in the marketplace or managing the servants or any of the other fifty things in Ashet Chayil is somehow lower than wrapping tefillin (it's not, trust me.)

The only real problem we have is that the world today screams that egalitarianism is our new religion and that falling short of that equals discrimination. It's not truth. It's falsehood.

The important thing is to be happy the way you were created and to see the role you were given as a blessing. Don't let anyone tell you it's better or worse. Those are human concepts that get added on after the fact and they don't come from the wisdom of God who created you. I don't want to sound patronizing (too late) or condescending (also too late) but I really mean it.

I've read the sages of our Torah and I've seen numerous synagogues where women and their roles and contributions were every bit as highly valued as those of the men. If anyone is telling you that you aren't already TRULY equal, tell them to shove it.