I would think like that all my life be it dreams or thoughts or just seeing my idea life. The fear of losing my family connections had me convinced that it could never happen unless I hit the Powerball and they’d be too scared to cut me out of their lives.

It was always that in the back of my mind thing. Once I had a child I REALLY felt like I couldn’t.

Then all of a sudden a string on unrelated events just popped up. Things just started being reviled and what seemed unimaginable seemed very possible. And this happened without me making it happen. I wasn’t searching for answers or solutions to my ‘problem’ they were just showing up.

Again, my ‘problem’ wasn’t even that big of an issue. The everyday struggles of life were far bigger issue than my transness. Even with answers to the trans issue, I wasn’t willing to pay the price but even the high cost emotionally, socially and financially just started solving themselves little by little.

Hey, I’m pre HRT so I by no means have the answers. I’m just know it’s possible and won’t cost me everything