I don't fear death; I only fear dying in a painful way.

Several years ago I overdosed on more than 30mgs of xanax mixed with alcohol in a suicide attempt. What I experienced before being revived was the most profound peace. I am unsure if this was an actual Near Death Experience, but people who have experienced what I did refer to it as the 'void'. I found myself within an expansive pitch black void. It was darker than black. I felt I was part of it, that there was no division between me and the rest of the blackness. I had an awareness that I had returned to where I was before I was born. Time did not exist. I just WAS and I just was aware. The peace I experienced was so profound that for months after all I wanted to do was go back. I couldn't tell anyone I knew about it without sounding crazy. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. When I was revived, it was like I was being ripped from back. I was so upset that the first thing I screamed was "NO!"

I have no idea what I experienced. I know there are possibly scientific explanations for a lot of what I went through. I have am not religious and am not looking at the experience through the lens of a preexisting belief system. Honestly, deep down I think that's where I will go when I die---I will become part of the fabric of the universe again. It was beautiful and some day I will have that wonderful peace again.