[Serious] Asexual people of Reddit, how did you find out you're asexual and what's your life like?

I found out while having a conversation with a friend of mine in which they explained to me that they were asexual. As the conversation progressed I realized hey, this describes my experiences pretty closely. So, as I always do when I find out about something new, I binge-researched asexuality for the next 24-hours.

Honestly, it doesn't mean much to me. Practically, yes, there are actual ramifications - mostly related to dating and such. But personally, it's not any more important to me than the fact that I don't like guacamole. I don't "identify" as asexual any more than I identify as having brown eyes, or being precisely 5'10".

The biggest current factor of how it affects my life is how people react when I tell them. The most common initial reaction seems to be hesitance to believe me, followed by something along the lines of "maybe you just haven't found your type yet" or "you'll probably grow out of it". I don't find this personally offensive for two reasons:

1) I realize that most people haven't had contact with asexuals or the concept of asexuality to any significant degree, and in general people aren't very good at reconciling their reality with conflicting information in a small time-frame. It might be annoying, but it's a natural reaction and, as long as they don't continue to hold this line of thought after they've had time to consider it, I can't blame them.

2) I'm more concerned that they seem to be doubting my intelligence, my judgement, and my self-awareness. Do they think I haven't done my due-diligence? That I grabbed onto the first possible explanation I encountered and never looked back? This annoyance is one I only have when dealing with people who I would expect to know me, though.

My least favorite reaction, though, is the long-term one of them becoming more and more concerned about my "situation" and trying to "help me through it". I don't have an issue with my "situation". It's not an issue. Stop making it one.

Anyway. Conclusion is, it's not currently affecting my life very much beyond the individual reactions of the few people I've talked to about it. In the future, it will probably be a hindering factor when looking for a relationship, inasmuch as it shrinks my potential dating pool. I realize that for other people who are asexual, the term asexual identifies a part of them that is important to them, or connects them to a larger group that they are able to draw support from. And that's incredibly useful. For me, it's not something I'll ever bring up unless it's on-topic, much like the fact that I don't bring up me not liking guacamole unless the subject of conversation is about guacamole, or not liking certain foods.

Things that are in no way essential to who I am, and have no impact on how I define myself: I have brown eyes. I'm precisely 5'10". I'm asexual. I don't like guacamole.

Things that people grab onto when they find out about it and proceed to treat as if it is a major issue and needs to be deeply discussed for my own good: I am asexual.

/r/AskReddit Thread