I was born the youngest of four in a very strict religious home. My first real big achievement was ripping off the nipple from the bottle and chugging the milk instead. As I grew, my lungs did not. I developed asthma and they prescribed an inhaler which most likely had steroids in them. I developed man boobs and was groped by the youth men at my church due to it. I was peed on and picked on throughout most of my 12-14 years. My dad became disabled during this time and it prompted me to run. I ran a race called Laps for Lupus and won second overall weighing in at around 190 and 5'7. Then, I did a robot dance in a full duct tape suit and everyone laughed and loved it. Due to my religion, I avoided all relationships with the opposite sex due to fear. Eventually, I devoted 2 years of my life where I became one of the highest baptizing missionaries at that time in that church. My methods were simple. Use the unbaptized list to find people that had not completely removed themselves from the religion and still did not have hard feelings about it. I gained all the weight back from running and was not really allowed to run during that time. What seems like a flip of the coin, after this mission, I chose to pursue actuarial science and went to school for it. For once in my life, I had to try while working at a fast food restaurant. I worked hard at it and graduated. Then, I took the actuarial exam P. I failed miserably. I thought that I could simply pass the test without trying like I have always done. I tried again but actually tried and failed. So I evaluated the test and found a manual that was harder and the questions were harder than the test. I passed. I was told that if you pass the test that people would want to give you a job and that the employment rate was incredible. No one wanted me. I quit that career. I started to evaluate my religious beliefs too and found they were false. I left it and I still picking up those fragments because people in it treat outsiders different and find excuses not to be your friend when you actually acted the same. I got a job that I enjoyed until they merged departments and the other department was more politically charged. Then, I got promoted in that department which basically put a target on my back and it stressed me out to the extent that I was unsatisfied with my job. I love being carefree. I quit the job because I overheard that they were removing me from my position. It was not a clear headed decision but I was tired of being pushed around my whole life. I wanted to push back. I freaked the hell out of my last job and they searched and searched as to how I knew. Then, I knew they were going to let me go that Friday so I cleaned my desk on Thursday which scared them even more. Those few weeks were the zaniest weeks of my life. From the crazy coworker that basically said that they were going to shoot me in the head and kill me to the great love that I felt from most of the coworkers. Now I am fighting the procrastination of figuring out what really makes me happy and satisfied. I don't think I will really ever get close to anyone other than family. I do think that a higher power has watched over me throughout my life. When I was a child about 8-12, I remember a dream basically saying "I will make you great". It was a very lucid dream. I am a very average man and expect nothing to happen but if it did it is because I care about others. If I get shot or fall to my death in dreams, I don't wake up. The minute a friend or family members is in trouble, that is when I wake up.