[Serious] Bullies of reddit whose victims committed suicide, how did it affect you?

Quick reverse answer. I was harassed constantly and extremely suicidal right up until high school, when I had a breakthrough. Anyways, in grade 10 (when I was about two years "clean"), a speaker came in to talk to the whole school about his son who was bullied and choked to death. (Long story.) Anyways, the Q&A went to suicide, and since I knew a friend who I just knew was too (but had a different mindset than me, so I didn't know how to apporach it), I asked the speaker what he'd say - if he could only say just one line - to someone wanting to take their life. The question didn't even phase me, and I asked because I thought this person was somewhere in the room. (He unfortunately wasn't, but that's beside the point.)

The speaker, in turn, gave one of the most beautiful and moving speeches I ever heard. I left the assembly feeling quite happy and forgot all about it. However, that night, the mom of one of my old bullies called my mom in a panic to warn MY mom that I was suicidal... her son had experienced a breakdown after the whole thing. My mom assured the other mom that I was fine... it was a brilliant move, but know that my mom knew the truth. And the next day, I was called into the office and told by the student councilor that at least five of my old buillies had come in for counseling too. Five of them! I was absolutely floored... I had no idea what to say, especially because I had pushed those guys out of my memory. But the counselor gave me the names of some who asked her to send me an apology, and though others wanted to stay anonymous, I just knew. In the days and years to come, there were some that I never saw again, some who I became good acquaintances with, and one who became a best friend. But... it's all been reconciled. We were kids, we were f***** up, we did horrible things to one another. But in the years to come, I felt so alive. And I guess we all grew up.

I don't know... it was just so surreal. But I guess the reason I'm sharing this is because, in that moment, it was like I actually killed myself and was watching the fallout from the outside. I thought I was being subtle and anonymous, but I guess I worded myself really badly and have a distinctive voice. I thought my question was routine, but I guess I was just numb to the severity of it. Anyways... my answer is that even the suggestion of what I could've done sent ripples and change through the school community; some immediate, some coming to light years later. And it was more intense than i ever could've imaged.

/r/AskReddit Thread