I've cheated once on a swedish guy I was dating for about 2 months. Basically we were just seeing each other and with sex involved, at the stage where we're exclusive to one another but not officially a couple yet.
By the time we hit one month, we started to argue alot because he was always busy working as an IT manager and never had the time for dates due to his mental exhaustion.
I too was going through a rough patch with work and I'm equally as busy but I always make effort to find the time. Whenever he can't find the time to meet I'd just hangout with friends, and Eventually somehow he started to have trust issues and always checking if I'm still active on tinder or if I've been with somebody else.
He was like the girl in relationships and I become the guy. I always had to give in to arguments and he'll always have the last say no matter how right or wrong he is. Arguments were plenty but we were very much attracted to each other so we kept it going to see if it would work.
Sometimes he wouldn't meet me and also withheld sex simply out of spite due to weeks old arguments So It was like 3 weeks without sex at this point and I was naturally kind of deprived considering we always sext but he couldn't make the effort to meet up even for a short while.
Then one night we went on a short date. We started making out and he was touching me all over and teasing me, making me very wet. But then he suddenly said he needed to head back as he need to be in bed by 1am and I was stunned. What was the whole point of starting something and teasing me but not finish the deed? The time wasn't that late, it was about 10pm and I suggested going over for sex, because we were just a short distance away from his condo and we could get the deed done in an hour or half an hour even. We then spent and wasted about 30 to 45 minutes right there with me trying to convince him that we have time, and he deciding and contemplating, wondering if he'll get enough sleep and whether or not there is time. It was frustrating. If we had just gone up immediately and not wasted time thinking about it, it would have been possible!
I was almost begging and kept repeating "we have enough time. We can just go now. Let's not waste more time" but he was all dilly dally still thinking about it. I felt so hurt, frustrated, deprived and ashamed also that I had to keep convincing him.
A total of one hour then passed and It clicked in my head that I don't deserve this and can get something better. I've been nothing but nice and giving and patient and level headed with his problems for so long.
You have to understand, with all those bottled emotions and still feeling very wet and horny from what he did, I left and took a cab to someone else's apartment for sex.
Me and Swedish dude still met up for dates after that and we still had sex like once more but he never knew I cheated though.
Do i regret cheating on him? No. But will I ever do it again? No. I have come to realize that cheating is so easy and it's scary. It's scary that I didn't have to think twice when I gave him a goodbye kiss and then took the cab ride to someone else's place. So now I'm being extra careful not to repeat such things because it's morally not right I guess.
Me and Swedish stop dating the same week but due to the constant arguments he kept starting and i couldn't handle it. There was no point. I already cheated and he wasn't meant for me so I cut all contact. I'll never tell him about me cheating though because I don't want to ruin any future relationships for him.
So what I can say is.. Sometimes when people cheat, it's not because they're slutty or have lack of control. They normally happen due to circumstances of a failing relationship. Sometimes it's not as easy as "why didn't you dump him first instead of cheating?"
I used to despise people who cheat until i did it myself. I'd never do it again though because I wouldn't like it if it happens to me.