[Serious] Cheaters of Reddit, why are you currently cheating on your SO?

For what it's worth, I think that using escorts is a step above the kind of cheating that most people take part in. What you're doing is much less likely to lead to an extended affair, since you are pretty much just paying the women to provide a service. I could be wrong, maybe you only have one or a few women that you hire on a regular basis. Regardless, while your wife would probably be upset by this no matter what, this kind of cheating would most likely be less devastating to her than if you came to her and told her you were sleeping with your co-worker and the two of you had fallen in love. That shit wrecks marriages.

There's a great quote from Love, Actually that illustrates this concept pretty well. Alan Rickman's character has gotten his employee a necklace as a Christmas gift, but unbeknownst to him his wife saw him making the purchase and believed it was for her. After getting a different gift from him, she confronts him about it.

"Karen: Tell me, if you were in my position, what would you do?

Harry: What position is that?

Karen: Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace, and come Christmas gave it to somebody else...

Harry: Oh, Karen...

Karen: Would you wait around to find out...

Parent: Good night!

Karen: Night, night. Happy Christmas!

[back to Harry]

Karen: Would you wait around to find out if it's just a necklace, or if it's sex and a necklace, or if, worst of all, it's a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?

Harry: Oh, God. I am so in the wrong. The classic fool!

Karen: [voice breaking] Yes, but you've also made a fool out of me, and you've made the life I lead foolish, too!"

Tl:dr Yes, your wife probably would not appreciate what you are doing. And let me be clear, this is not an endorsement of cheating. Violations of trust are never good. But don't be so hard on yourself. Self loathing is never healthy. And you could be doing something even worse to her.

Edit: formatting

/r/AskReddit Thread