[Serious] Cheaters of Reddit, why are you currently cheating on your SO?

Not currently cheating, but I did cheat on almost everyone of my previous boyfriends. Now I'm married, happily, and have never even considered cheating on my husband.

However, the first time I ever cheated on someone was when I was with what I would consider my first real boyfriend (I'd dated a couple other people before but never longer than a month or so) It's also important to mention that this first boyfriend was absolutely horrible, he was emotionally and occasionally physically abusive and totally fucked with my head on a constant, constant basis. I kept thinking he loved me and I loved him while he was destroying my self-esteem, trying to isolate me from all my friends (spreading lies, causing drama so they wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore) and basically doing whatever he could to make me feel like I would be nothing without him. Cue the guy I ended up cheating with. I met him by chance through a friend of mine who was an acquaintance of his but he had no connection to my current BF what-so-ever. It was instantly obvious that he was attracted to me. He asked for my number and I guess I just liked the attention, was subconsciously looking for a way out, etc so I gave it to him. Basically he became the only person I confided in about how awful my relationship was and how isolated and alone I felt. Then we started hanging out and eventually hooking up. At the time this new guy was very patient with me, helped me regain a lot of confidence until I was finally able to break up with the boyfriend despite his really desperate attempts to force me into staying.

So, to me cheating was my escape from an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, since this was really one of my first real relationship experiences it did end up just fucking with my head for a long time. I was always very terrified to leave any relationship I was in, and cheating would become my way out. I would ignore serious issues for a long time until I met someone else, cheated with them, then realized I had to end my current relationship. I don't know why that behavior stuck around so long. While all my other relationships definitely had a number of very serious issues they were never as serious as that first relationship and definitely didn't deserve to be cheated on. I think it just became my one escape route and so I stuck with it. I'll also admit there was a long time where I really enjoyed the attention from it. I used to worry that I would never be able to not cheat on a partner, but realizing how much I didn't want to become that person made me really work at talking out my issues with a partner and ending it before any potential cheating would occur.

/r/AskReddit Thread