[Serious] Cheaters of Reddit, why are you currently cheating on your SO?

I cheated on my boyfriend twice. Both times I came clean and told him right after it happened. The first time I cheated on him, we had been together for about 6 months and I was upset to learn that when we had broken up for about a month, he had slept with another girl. I was only a teenager at the time and thoughtlessly slept with someone while I was away on a camping trip as I was upset with him.

Within a few days after cheating on him I found out that he had also cheated on me in our first month of our relationship. I got upset and broke up with him and he cried and punched his car door and I remember getting really afraid as I had never seen him so angry with himself. I felt awful that he was so upset so I quickly got back together with him. A few days after that I came clean and told him that I had also cheated. He broke up with me and didn't speak to me for a few days, but for some reason I begged and begged for him back. He reluctantly got back together with me.

An abortion and 2 DUI's later, I cheated on him again. We had been having a really rough time and when he came home to me he wasn't the same. I found comfort in someone else as me and him had not been connecting on the same level as we had used to. Still, over 3 years later, he is not the same person.

We broke up for a month when I told him about the second time and he would ask for me to come over and sleep with him and then tell his friends I wouldn't leave him alone. For the first few weeks I remember feeling physically ill about what I had done and wanting to kill myself for letting myself do that to someone I loved to much. After the first few weeks I lost 15 lbs and was starting to feel better about myself until I went on a camping trip with a friend and saw him a few campsites over. I was drunk and asked a friend to go over and talk to him and I overheard him saying horrible horrible things about me. I started to hate myself again and cried about once an hour.

A week or so passed and he asked me to go for coffee with him. He asked for me back and I was overjoyed. Looking back now at what I did to him I actually feel sick. I love him more than anything and I would be blessed if I ever got the opportunity to marry him. It really took losing him and realizing that it was entirely my fault for me to understand the toll of cheating on someone. Don't EVER cheat on someone that is a good person. I'm sure there are different circumstances if you are being treated poorly I'm a relationship. However, I would never in my life cheat on him again.

If you are someone who struggles with cheating, remove yourself from situations where you could be in trouble. I am still afraid that I'll get too drunk and end up somewhere that I don't want to be, but I tell my friends to never let me be alone with anyone and I think long and hard about how I felt and the consequences that came with it.

Tl;dr: I cheated on my boyfriend twice because I thought I was unhappy. Turns out I was just unhappy with myself and I almost lost the man of my dreams.

/r/AskReddit Thread