First post, but was hoping my advice could be helpful to someone. I've also never told a single entity all of this, so telling possibly thousands at once is obviously the best way to go about it. Am a 23y/o male, my SO is one year younger, and we've been together about 7 years. I was her first, she wasn't mine. Our sex life is okay (we can't actually have intercourse, it causes her a lot of pain, - I get a shit ton of pornstar blowjobs though, which is alright). I've cheated on her probably at least once for every year we've been together, possibly more. She doesn't know about any of them, I do love her enormous amounts, and I wouldn't want her to know - it would ruin us. Why did I do it, repeatedly? Honestly, I don't know, it just happens. The girls have ranged from being single pringles, to being in committed relationships which some are still in, aware of my situation. I'm a fairly attractive bloke, and I've had my fair share of childhood woes, not that that's an excuse of course, I'll stand up to my mistakes (and I do regard all my cheating activities as mistakes). But the thing I suffer from most after my unfaithful activities, is my trust level. I get incredibly paranoid that she's cheating on me, even though I've never known her to do so. Though I've learnt to control this throughout the years, it does get a lot worse if I cheat. I'm currently at therapy, and there's plenty to be unpacked (apparently), - my SO also doesn't know I'm in therapy - I have trust issues. Only been close to being caught twice. The first was our first year of University (yeah we both moved in and went to the same University), where this ladyfriend who I'd been seeing for a while brokedown and told her long-distance bf. He messaged me, threatened to tell my gf, but didnt after a chat to me, that was that. The second was the biggest mistake, a coworker who had a thing for me, got me really drunk after work (work at a bar). On walk back she kept making advances, I kept shooting them down. I got shit at shooting her down, we sat down for a sec and within a minute she had grabbed my bits out and gone to town on them, I enjoyed it but did manage to push her off to stop. She told my bestmate about it, - because funnily enough my bestmate (whose also in a longterm relationship for 3 years +) had cheated on his SO with her. He told me he knew, but said he obviously had no intention of telling my SO. Honestly it felt good him knowing, but I still havent told him or anyone else about my other less-than-faithful activities.
TL;DR: We're human, we make mistakes, but we should limit damage control and try not to hurt others, especially our SO's. I wish we could all just be happily polygamous.
Happy to give more info or answer any questions if anyone gives a shit.